Intimacy

Intimacy.

This is something I am struggling with greatly.

Before you start making assumptions, can we pick apart what Intimacy is and how it affects us?

Okay, Merriam-Webster's defines "Intimacy" as the state of being intimate :  familiarity

Merriam-Webster also lists these synonyms: belonging, closeness, inseparability, familiarity, nearness

These are all very desirable things.

Belonging. We all want, and maybe inherently feel like we need to belong to either something or someone, or maybe even both.

Closeness. How much better do we feel about life when we have someone to be close to. Human fellowship and contact is naturally comforting. Of course you have those people who swear they hate human contact and all that jazz, but I'm telling you, even those people have days when they just need a hug!

Inseparability. Have you ever had that one friend that you're inseparable with? Maybe you haven't, or maybe it has been years. But what an awesome thing to share with someone. The knowledge that no matter what happens, no matter what life has to throw at you, your relationship and your closeness cannot and will not change. That is complete security.

Familiarity. Think of that one person (or maybe persons) that when you enter their home, you immediately kick off your shoes, hop on their couch, and sprawl out like you own that Lazy Boy sofa. That kind of familiarity only happens with some people, but isn't awesome when you don't have to sit like a statue on someone couch?

Nearness. I'm and extrovert. Sometimes I'm a very introverted extrovert, though. I love being with people, but too many people make me anxious, so it's real awkward. Anyway, I value being near people. Even if that means I sit in the music building at school for hours on end just to be near people, well then that's what it looks like. But it makes me feel better.

 

Okay, so these are all things that can be viewed in a very general life kind of way. And even then, It is so desirable, and I want these things in my life. It almost seems like a life without these things would be very empty. So the desire for intimacy is there, yes. Okay, add the fact that I'm single and multiple those desire by five hundred. Okay, whoa, that is a really strong desire for intimacy. So, you see where I'm struggling right?

So, where does this leave me?

Well, it leaves me wanting to be too close with people, wanting relationships that aren't ready to happen, and wanting nearness of people to satisfy my need for intimacy.

 

Stop.

 

Stop trying to force intimacy between people, when you are offered the ultimate form of intimacy every...day...of...your...life.

Every second we exist our creator yearns to have intimacy with us.

Remember before, when I multiplied my own desire for intimacy times five hundred? Yeah, well multiply it times like a billion and that doesn't even begin to describe the desire God has to be intimate with us. He wants us. Always. He wants our intimacy and love. And through intimacy with Him, we would be complete. Through intimacy with Jesus Christ I find where I belong. Through intimacy with Jesus Christ I feel a closeness to the Father that fulfills my soul. Through intimacy with Jesus Christ I am completely inseparable from his heart.

Through intimacy with Jesus Christ I have familiarity and comfort in him. Through intimacy with Jesus Christ I have a nearness that is always satisfied despite the presence of people in my life.

 

Intimacy with Jesus is everything.

And I am so thankful for this. It is not forced, but it is freely and joyfully given. For I am His, and He is mine. He is my beloved, my redeemer. My comfort and my stronghold. He is all I will ever need.

 

Callings.

"Come and follow me."

 

Who's calling are you following?

 

Today, like many other Mondays, has started way to early. The cheerful Marimba melody coming from my Iphone makes me want to punch things. But I refrain. I stumble out of bed, put myself together, and head off to my 8 am theory class (not before stopping off at Jazzman's for a caramel blast.)

 

Dr. Wycoff always starts his class with a devotion, which I appreciate on so many levels. What better way to start the day then by hearing a profound word or two? This morning in particular, was a very profound word that happened to be very relevant to my life right now, as well as my friends around me. His word this morning was about callings. Callings play a huge part in our lives as Christians. Many of us feel as though we have a calling in our life, whether it be music, education, art, dance, speaking, etc. For me, I feel as though I'm called to music, ministry, and travel. This has been such a blessing in my life, especially being a part of Unity Dance Troupe, which fulfills almost all of these callings at the moment. It is wonderful to feel so active in your calling. Callings are wonderful gifts from God, but it is easy to get lost or consumed by these "callings."

 

This morning, Dr. Wycoff said some truly wonderful things about callings (most of which I can't remember in vivid detail, but the overall idea is very tangible in my mind this evening.) It is very easy (and I've experienced this personally) to get caught up in the topic of your "calling" , like, "oh, I'm called to be a singer! so all I'm gonna do is sing! and if I'm not singing then that's not okay because that's my calling." No. This is something we must not do. Dr. Wycoff said it so gracefully this morning...something along the lines of "you calling, first and foremost is God saying 'come and follow me.' so who's calling are you following?" When we say the things like "all I have to do is this because its my calling!" is that really glorifying God? I mean, I completely understand this struggle. I am called to do something, I know this. The problem is, I am already really passionate and really in love with this something, which means it's really easy for me to get consumed by the "calling" rather than the person who is calling me. And I just don't want that.

 

Jesus calls us to many things. Graciously. Passionately. Generously. We must remember to ask ourselves this critical question, "whose calling am I following? mine or God's." If the answer is 'mine', then what does that look like, and how can I refocus myself to follow God? Well first off, 'my calling' looks very different than 'God's calling.' They may be very similar in the sense that they both are for ministry or music, but the difference is the motivation behind them. Ask yourself this, "Why am I pursuing this 'calling'?" If your answer is "because its my calling, and I know I'm supposed to be doing this, and I love it." then stop and think. Although none of those motivations are really bad, they're not necessarily  godly either. If you ask yourself the same question "Why am I pursuing this 'calling'?" and your answer is along the lines of "I believe this is where God is leading me at the moment, and although it might not be glamorous or as significant as I would have thought, I am going to follow Him and I'm going to work to the best of my ability to glorify God through this." Okay, you're on the right track.

 

Humbleness is truly difficult. Here's why: If you know in your heart that you are 'called' to something it can do many things to your heart and your head. Now, bare with me because I'm talking mainly to myself here but just hear me out. It is really easy to become self absorbed. I know you're thinking, "Um, what? How can you become self absorbed if your calling is from God? He gave it to you." Yes, yes. All true. But remember,

 

1.) First and foremost, God calls us to come and follow him.

 

2.) God wants humble Christians.

 

3.) Just because you're good at something, and it's God's 'calling' on your life doesn't give you the right to get a big head.

 

Any type of calling from God demands an amount of humbleness. I don't care what field of life God has called you to serve in, but he has called us as his people and as his children to be servants. I feel especially strong about this because I really believe God has called me to be a leader. Now this is crucial. Leaders must first be humble servants. Please listen to this now, and if this is the only thing you take away from this blog then please just listen: You will reach, touch, inspire, and impact on a greater scale than you ever thought if you are a humble servant who follows God fiercely and selflessly than if you were the greatest singer, preacher, dancer, educator, etc. that the world has ever seen. You can be in the spotlight all you want and you could be the most passionate person on the planet who really loves God, but I'm telling you, you will impact more people if you take the role of the humble servant who is willing to take the backseat, willing to do whatever God has laid before you, because your calling, first and foremost is to "come and follow me."

 

 

Who's calling are you following?

Unmet Desires.

Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss; my heart turns violently inside my chest.

 

 

The beauty of the Lord's love for us is so exquisite. His Love is so tangible and so real. It is quite intoxicating.

 

 

The first two weeks of my sophomore year at Lee have been very taxing. My closest friends, along with myself, have been thrown through so much emotional turmoil and so much warfare, and it's only been two weeks. The only way I can justify this is by knowing that we all must be playing a really intricate part in God's plan right now, specifically with our dance troupe. All of us have committed such a large amount of our lives to this troupe and its cause, and God has already blessed us so much. As new opportunities surface and our dreams for this troupe grow, we are constantly in a battle against the evil that can not see us succeed. Unity Dance Troupe is a miraculous group of people. I have never been so involved with such a mighty cause. The pure passion and joy for ministry that we as brothers and sisters share, has greatly impacted my life. Through Unity I have grown so much as a person, a student, a Christian, and a dancer. But most of all, my favorite experience with Unity has been our production of The Veil. The Veil has given me so much. It has given me a tangible taste of the Lord's heart for his children, and It is such an overwhelming emotion; words can not describe.

 

In the next two weeks, all of us involved in Unity will begin a period of prayer and reflection as we prepare to audition dancers for our revamped performance of The Veil. With this period of change and renovation comes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety. Peoples roles are changing, and we are adding more dancers along with more dances to the overall production. This has created a lot of uneasy dancers who are eagerly awaiting the day when they learn what part they play in this team, both metaphorically and physically. One thing this past year has given all of us is a desire to do more. Passions have been intensified, hearts have been set on fire, and lives have been changed. I don't think any of us were quite ready for the impact of The Veil. God was so present in our dancing and in our midst. I know this to be true because our troupe has completely submitted this production to the Lord, and he will have his way with it. He has already blessed it so much, and it has become such a beautiful ministry. I thank God everyday that I have played a part in this wonderful testimony to his grace.

 

 

A desire to do more; this has so greatly been instilled within us. It is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because what a wonderful life to live, a life filled with passion and desire to further God's kingdom by using the talents he has given us to make an impact. A curse because if not treated properly, unmet desire can become harmful. An deep seeded unmet desire can cause conflict and inner turmoil. Questions like "Why am I never good enough to achieve the things I want?" or "What am I doing? I'm not even being utilized with my talents or passions." all seem like feasible things to ask ourselves when our deepest desire go unmet. So much confusion and hurt can arise, especially when we know in our hearts that our desires are for goodness and purpose. These unmet desires can cause us to question ourselves in ways that should never even be considered.

 

Not good enough. Unworthy. Useless.

 

I have but one thing to save about these desires. They are God given.

 

God gives us those desires, and he gives us the passion to carry them. God does not give us these desires to burden us with a sense of uselessness, he gives us these desires to use as a tool. Desires are powerful. Whether they be God given glorious desires, or earthly sinful desires, desires have power. God has more power.

 

When we are instilled with God given desires, we are given a gift, a tool, and a purpose. A reason to strive, to work, and to grow. Desire gives us an incentive to do whatever it takes to see those desire fulfilled. Despite our new found incentive, discouragement still comes easy. Situations can cause us to be discouraged, and without patience we can become hopeless towards our desires.

 

My friends, be encouraged. In the words of Kari Jobe, "I know that you are for me." God is for us. He gives us our desires as gifts. And he longs to see those desires grow and to flourish. Romans 8:32 says, "God did not spare his own son. He gave him up for us all. Then won't he also freely give us everything us?" God wants to give us the deepest desires of our hearts. He loves us! He misses us. He wants to spend every minute with us. His beautiful children, whom he's made clean once more. Praise the Lord! The most high God! He has made us clean once more!

 

Rejoice in that.

 

God has not given us a spirit of fear or anxiety. He says in his word to worry about nothing but instead pray about everything.

Desires can be overwhelming and scary. If we are anxious or scared that God might forsake our desires, then stop! Stop whatever you are doing and pray. Speak with him. Embrace his love for you. He so longs for you to know these things. He would never leave nor forsake you. He loves you. He will give you the desires of your heart; submit them to him, and see what happens.



A matter of complacency

But Jesus replied, "My Father is always working, and so am I."

 

 

When Jesus healed the lame man, the Jews protested at the sight of the man carrying his sleeping mat. When the man told them it was Jesus who had healed him and told him to walk, they began harassing Jesus for breaking the Sabbath rules. "But Jesus replied, My Father is always working, and so am I."

 

Today, as I read this passage I was given a new motivation to never stop moving, to never stop working, and to never stop believing. The days we live are numbered and what time have we to stop and rest? God is ever moving and working, and shouldn't we be doing the same? We are called to work on his behalf, and to gather as many to his kingdom as we can. A spiritual war is being waged and we can't afford to be still and silent. I think the matter of complacency is an increasingly large problem in the church today. Personally, I struggle with it myself. In the past it has been easier to be complacent; less noticeable. Well, hasn't it? I'm sure that you can admit to, at some point in your life, being a complacent Christian. It comes easy and without notice, and sometimes, if not most times, without intention. But the time has come to say no. I truly believe that I have reached that season in my life. In many things, along with spirituality, It has gotten to the point where I'm done waiting for things to work themselves out. Things don't happen on their own, and complacent Christians don't save a generation. And that's what I'm out to do. Save a generation.

 

Jesus tells us to do so in Acts 1:8

“But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.”  Also in Mark 16:15,
“And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.”
My Father is always working, and so am I

John 5:17